UNIT II 2.3. IF YOU ARE WRONG, ADMIT IT - Dale Carnegie SUMMARY (BBA & BHM – I STUDY MATERIAL)

BBA & BHM – I STUDY MATERIAL

UNIT II

2.3. IF YOU ARE WRONG, ADMIT IT

- Dale Carnegie

INTRODUCTION:

                           

                                            If you are wrong, admit it is an essay written by Dale Breckenridge Carnegie (1888-1955), was an American. It was an extract from “How to win Friends and influence people”. In this extract the author illustrates with example how it pays to admit mistakes quickly and emphatically. Defending our mistakes, finding alibis (problems) and blaming others for our mistakes may give us satisfaction but we may end up losing good friends. One needs an extreme courage and honesty to admit that you have made a mistake but must try to convince gently and tactfully that we are right.

EXPLANATION:

                                    The below are the illustrations with example which the author makes in this extract where he is showing that if someone had erred (mistake) he shouldn’t hesitate to admit it and close the matter peacefully.

                                        

                                             The first illustration author writes about an incident where he and Rex the author’s Boston Bulldog, did not like to be leashed or muzzled. The author himself did not like to muzzle or leash his dog. The policeman warned Carnegie that he will be charged the next time he did not leash or muzzle the dog. For disobeying him, Carnegie knew that he will have to face the wrath of the angry policeman itching to show his authority. Carnegie tactfully admitted that he made a mistake and spoke all that the policeman would have, thus taking his side. The policeman calmed down and took Carnegie’s side by excusing Carnegie. This is exactly what Carnegie wanted. Carnegie admitted his mistake. This made the policeman magnanimously excuse him.

                                            

                                                     The second example is about The art director’s method of attack by finding faults with some little thing disgusted Warren. Warren understood the situation he took the fight out of his art director by instantly admitting his mistake. He criticized himself extensively and promised to redo the entire work. Warren embarked on self-criticism that took the fight to an end by taking him to lunch which Warren thoroughly enjoyed.

                                                In the third example the author talks about Harvey who not only admitted his mistake but also blamed himself repeatedly for all the confusion. The boss was so pleased at the guilty Harvey’s acceptance of mistake that he allowed Harvey to rectify his mistake. This earned him the respect of his boss.

                                                       

                                                                    The fourth example is the one where the author talks about the two characters one was Pickett who was a confident man with auburn locks with a cap of rakish angle over his right ear and the other was Lee, an honorable General of high rank. While he could have blamed several others for the loss in war, He maintained that he alone was responsible for the loss in the battle and none but he has lost the battle which lead to the doom of their army. His acceptance of mistake and supplication of apology is the most sublime.

  

                                        In the fifth example the author is discussing about the Chinese culture. Micgaek Cheung, who was the tutor of author in Hong Kong. Chinese tradition forbids elders from taking the first step to reconciliation with the young. The Chinese father knowing that it was his fault for his son leaving him, he did not budge since it was their tradition that forbade elders from taking the first step toward reconciliation with their younger counterparts. But his desire to meet his son and his family and the realization of his mistakes over powered his long nurtured ego. He leaves his ego behind and with all his heart seeks his son’s forgiveness.

                                                  The sixth example is of Hubbard who had the rare characteristics of turning his foe into friends by taking their side when he felt he was right. Hubbard used to pull an irritated reader to his side by confessing that just like them he too disagrees with what he had written earlier. He would also call them over to his place to thrash the subject over. This way he ditches the fumes of an explosive reader.

CONCLUSION:

                              The author tries to convey from this essay that the spontaneous admittance of one’s mistake win them the respect they wouldn’t have received otherwise. Carbegie believed that self- criticism was better than having to listen to criticism from alien lips. Admittance of mistakes, thus, works in each one’s favour. He says that when we are right, we should try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking.